


The Fandom Religion Orgy

by Colored_eyes_101



Category: Filthy Frank - Fandom, Homestuck, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Shrek Series
Genre: Furby, Gay, M/M, Multi, Orgy, Porn, Prostitution, Sex, Shrek - Freeform, Special Guest - Freeform, Yaoi, semen - Freeform, weeaboo trucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 21:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3184217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colored_eyes_101/pseuds/Colored_eyes_101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shrek and Levi have a job and they get done with the help of some friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Genesis: The weeabooing

Shrek and Levi had been working a summer job at the corner (if you know what I mean) though they hadn't been making much money since they took up their new jobs as prostitutes. It was a very chilly day of autumn, but smoking hot for the two men. They shuffled their feet to keep warm at their corner, in hopes that they would score a client.

 

"It's fucking cold." Said Levi in a seductive voice, snuggling close to Shrek's big, meaty, olive green arm, while flashing to the street a peak under his already very revealing drag outfit.

 

"Sh-shrek it's fucking cold when are we gonna gET TO THE MI KASA WITH OUT CUSTOMER?" Levi demanded. Shrek was only wearing a thong.

 

"It's gonna be all ogre soon, laddie." he said, rubbing his big meaty hands on the small man, while looking both ways for possible clients. The hair on his taunt chest, stood on end and wavered in the cool passing breeze. Shrek looked left, only to see nothing but his dumb competitors. He looked to the right, eyes popping at the sight of what he hoped could be his next shot at a customer. Shrek excitedly nudged Levi.

 

"look ogre there, laddie!" Levi fixated himself into position, facing the wall and bending over. Shrek merely flexed his manly muscles like a man. The man in the car looks to his right, only to see a fucking green crotch. Shrek leaned into the slightly open window of the man's car, surprising the man with his efforts to shove his giant green pelvis and man accessories inside. 

 

"OI THERE LADDIE." Winks the bald greenette man.

 

"What the fuck are you." asks the man in fear.

 

The very frisky, and rather thirsty ogre lipped his lips and looked straight into the fearful man's eyes, giving the man a reason to reach for his hidden revolver. 

 

"I'll answer your question, with my body…but only if you show us a good time…LADDIE." He winked, shedding his eyelashes into a neat pile on the pavement.

 

The man turned the gear, slammed his foot to the gas, and fucking left.

 

"DAMN IT. ANOTHER ONE LOST LEVI." 

 

"Fucking sticking your green hairy crotch into the window what the fuck you aren't supposed to let them see the undesired goods until you've already finished shoving it in them shrek, god." Levi continued, the short and revealing skirt of his attire being enough to cover his bare ass as he sat on the pavement, going on with his scolding.

 

"At this shitty rate we'll never get any money. Especially if you keEP SHOVING YOUR PENIS AND BALLS INTO RANDOM WINDOWS!" just as Levi finished his harsh words, the two could hear very loud weeaboo music coming from the other side of the street. Shrek turned his head around at a break-neck pace, Levi glancing around the ogre to see what Shrek saw. A giant truck was gliding down the street towards them. The truck pulled up in front of them, and they both jumped to their feet, levi earning himself a halfie as he gazed in amazement at the bitchass truck. Like, this truck had some fucking Narutoe and One Pies, and Attack on tits decals all over it, it was fucking wicked.

 

"How much ya'll pay??!??!" Asked the man from the truck.

 

"How much ya got laddie?" Shrek asked.

 

Levi bent over for more advertisement, and seriously smiled. The man opened the driver's side door, and crawls out, revealing himself as Erwin. Commander of the fucking survey corps.

 

"How much you think I have?" He smirked, trying to raise an eyebrow though no one could tell because his eye brows took up half his fucking head.

 

"H-h-h-h-hh-holy shit." Levi stuttered, instantly coming his pants. "W-w-w-w-wwhat the fuck are you doing here?" Levi asked aggressively.

 

"Oh you know, just here to pick up a friend." He said, turning around to reveal Eridan Ampora in the passenger seat.

 

Eridan blushed bright violet, stuttering "B-baka."

 

"I told you we'd being doing this." Erwin said to him.

 

Eridan looked directly over into Shrek's eyes, saying "You didn't say anythin about an olivve loww-blood."

 

Erwin gently placed his arm around the fish stick, "Something has to keep you off that chick, you know," he smiled nudging Eridan with his other arm, while gesturing with his eyes to Levi. Eridan made eye contact with Shrek once more, whom in return made a kissing face to taunt the grey skinned young man.

 

"Wwhatevver." Eridan huffed, kicking a bucket that magically appeared at his feet. Erwin smiled before commanding-

 

"Get in the truck. Now." he said gesturing towards the back. The two prostitutes sat in the back of the truck, and they drove off. Shrek nudged Levi, saying-

 

"Oi laddie, this might be our shot to pay for our corner!" Shrek smiled at the always shrinking drag queen. Levi huffed.

 

"This is not gonna be worth it. I already saw his twinkie. There isn't hardly any cream left in that shit."

 

"Oh really laddie?" Said the very handsome green skinned man who chuckled in reply. "How big is it?" His voice raised in pitch, and he offered some nervous laughter to the midget man's smirk.

 

"You'll find out soon enough my dear shitty green man." The tiny palm tree haired man smiled wider.

 

Eridan leaned against the arm of the commander, muttering in a kinda kawaii voice-

 

"Of all the bitches out there wwhy did it havve to be them?" 

 

"Because you're a fucking train wreck." Erwin replied trying to focus on the road ahead. Eridan sat up, away from the commander, stuttering-

 

"Wwhat do you mean?"

 

"Don't you get it? You're gayyyy~~"

 

"Gay? Wwhat do you mean, 'gay'?" Eridan replied, perking up in places that one would not perk up in at random.

 

"Just look at you!" Said Erwin. "YOU HAVE FUCKING DYE IN YOUR HAIR."

 

"This isn't dye." Eridan pouted, sinking down into his chest, mouth covered with his scarf. "I'm fuckin royalty. And I'vve got the hots for my best friend fef."

 

"YOU'RE FUCKING GAY YOU FUCKING DYE YOUR HAIR AND WEAR A SCARF." 

 

"Lots of men wwear scarvves."

 

"Gay men. Hipster gay men." Erwin replied, disappointed that Eridan just wouldn't except himself for what he clearly was. "YOU WERE TRANSEXUAL ONCE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD."

 

"That wwas a phase! YOU DON'T KNOWW ME" Eridan screamed.

 

Shrek's tiny pin ears perked up at the yelling from within the truck.

 

"I think they're fighting laddie." Shrek said to Levi who was flexing his legs over the edge of the truck for no fucking reason. 

 

"No shit shreklock."

 

 

\-------

 

Moments later they arrive at a huge mansion, with a fucking lame-ass clown passed out on the front lawn. Eridan hops out of the weeaboo truck and kicks at the clown's heels. The clown sits up sleepily before opening his eyes wide as fuck and practically screaming-

 

"What the motherfucking shit-tits is this!?"

 

"It's called an orgy." Erwin tried, but could not be heard over Eridan yelling.

 

"HOWW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND ME GAM?" 

 

"With motherfucking miracles my fish brother."

 

"Eww."

 

Shrek looked at the sitting clown on the lawn, then turned and said to levi and just about everyone else who was within ear shot-

 

"What the fuck are these things laddie?"

 

"Fuckin royalty you loww-blood garbage."

 

"Yeah. Right." Erwin agreed before picking up Eridan and swinging him over his shoulder and going up into the house. 

 

"Come on in we have steroids." Erwin looked to Gamzee. "You too clown boi!" He called with a wink. 

 

"Well I don't see why the motherfuck not, brother!" Gamzee said before drinking a whole bottle of faygo in front of everyone.

 

"W-w-w-w-w-whoa!" Levi replied gaining a bright shiny new halfie at the sight.

 

"Don't invvite him in, he's fuckin impure piece of shit. Eugh." Erwin laughed at the sad fish's words, before replying-

 

"No one in the orgy is going to be judged for their blood, honey." 

 

"Eugh." Eridan whined further, as Erwin entered the house.

 

"This is gonna be fun laddie!" Shrek said, before charging towards the door. Levi followed by clinging to shrek's leg, since he was tiny and therefor not at fast as the ogre. 

 

"NNNNNNNNNNNYESSS!" Echoes through the mansion, and a scurrying through the vents.

 

"THAT MOTHERFUCKING SOUNDS LIKE ME hehe HONK." Gamzee says excitedly. 

 

"What the fuck is that, laddie?"

 

"Jesus christ. Don't worry about it-" Erwin says grabbing Shrek's hand. "Come this way." 

 

\--TO BE CONTINUED--

 


	2. Ribirth: this chapter is based on real life events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so it continues.

 

Erwin led shrek down the hallway, and the large olive skinned man motioned for the small framed Levi to follow. Eridan looked down frustrated and kicked the loose, empty bottles of faygo with his foot, while Gamzee honked non-soberly beside them. JUST THEN gamzee needed to pee. 

 

"Holy motherfucking shit!" Gamzee said, and since he did not know the layout of the house, he simply pissed himself. Eridan glanced to the floor, and spotted the easily-spotted purple piss on the floor.

 

"God damn it Gam this is my husband's house!"

 

"HuSbAnD!? Well motherfuck me I guess."

 

"No Gam. Just no."

 

Eridan connects his face to his hand, also known as a facepalm. 

 

"Come on Gam lets go." He said, urging on the tall, slender man (Gamzee).

 

Erwin shoved Shrek back on the bed, and to that action the muscular ogre blushed deep, suffocating red.

 

"Oi laddie!" He stuttered in a very muscular voice. Though because he is not as muscular as he seems, his nipples hang down, wrap around his shoulders 2 times.

Levi smiled, getting into his best sexual position by standing against the wall and bending over. Still in his best sexual position Levi looks between his legs and demands-

 

"Hey dickweed where is our mula?" Erwin chuckled to Levi's demands, and Erwin looks into his asshole before replying-

 

"You'll get it soon enough."

 

Eridan enters the room with Gamzee, blushing profusely at the shocking scene that suddenly all panned out within the few moments he spent watching Gamzee piss himself.

 

"Holy motherfuck!" Gamzee stated 

 

"Finally you're here bby!" Erwin sighed, before continuing. "I'll take Levi and you can have this big fine piece of green ass!" He smiled, grabbing a chunk of Shrek's ass and ripping it off all feisty like. Shrek blushed, holding his face with his hands all kawaii-like.

 

"desu laddie." He whispered, a faint "nnnnnnnnnnnnyesss!" echoed through the room, though no one noticed over all the fucking testosterone fogging up the room and everyone's hearing. Eridan pulls up Shrek into a sitting position, and all of his ass blood is on the bed but no-one cares right now, especially Shrek because damn, having a chunk of your ass missing feels great.

 

"You're not gonna penetrate me!" Eridan huffs aggressively. 

 

"Nice." Shrek says in an uke voice for some reason.

 

Eridan pulled down his lame pants to reveal his (sadly small) MAGNUM TWINKIE with a nice purple and fish patterned condom already on it. 

 

Eridan stuck his thingie in Shrek's ripped ass, and was done in 2 seconds, shaking like he was having a seizure. Shrek didn't get anything so he decided,

 

"My turn laddie." And just as Shrek barely penetrated the hole, Eridan split apart, his legs from his torso. The stitches where Eridan had last been cut had not been holding well. And taking a twinkie that big and green was too much for him so he just fucking died. Erwin glanced at the body, and frowned. 'Not again.' He thought, but couldn't care because Levi was being very sexy and he had to think about his Levi not his husband. Erwin rubbed his empty twinkie against the clean man though Levi was not amused, and wasn't even blushing.

 

"Get it over with shit head." And Levi twirked a bit and with his boney ass it was enough to get Erwin a stiffie.Gamzee sat in the corner innocently just watching everything happen.

 

"Motherfucking shit! My motherfucking shit-fish brother is dead. Damn tho those colors."

 

Shrek glanced to his newly dead bby and frowned.

 

"Eh, if a laddie don't mind I'll just keep going." And Shrek fucked the dead Eridan corpse with a burning passion. It was so fast and burning and caught on fire and the body turned into fried fish. Gamzee whiffed the fried fish, and thought 'ay my motherfucking fish bro smells hella tasty maybe one bite wouldn't hurt ahaha' and he took a big bite from the twinkie, and there was some bonus violet fry sauce spewing like a fountain from the hole so whoop he dunked what he'd already chewed in that shit and ate it again. Shrek admired the Gamzee ass,

 

"Oi laddie you look pretty tight!" 

 

"Fuck you motherfucker my ass is mine bitchfucker." And Gamzee just leaves. He crawls into the tiny floor vent shaft and fucking leaves. Bye bye Gamzee. Shrek blushes in embarrassment.

 

"I came on too fast laddie." He says to Levi who is being fucked my Erwin's tiny peener twinkie. 

 

"Who fucking cares we're getting payed for it anyways. Take that fish boi's wallet while you're at it." Shrek reached into the wallet and finds cut up pictures of another fish girl and a nerd with fucking ugly teeth. But half of the pics with the ugly nerd with ugly teeth had his head cut out and replaced with Eridan's. Several used condoms were also inside each of them with the name feferi written on them.

 

"What the fuck laddie." 

 

Eridan, with some of his nerves still active, was still having a seizure on the floor, and muttered, "Don't judge me olivve fuck."

And then Erwin lost his arm due to an unexpected pink blur. He jizzed and Levi was thankful it finally ended.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the shrekfucker is lame, and thanks to all the kudos you really didn't have to. really. please. your future management will go through your internet history and see this shit and you wont get a job.


	3. Downfall: the gang meets jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> damn it's been like, a week.

So Shrek, Levi, Erwin, and the still dead Eridan halves decide to go to Mcdonald's. They drive up in bitchin weeaboo truck, with the Neon Genesis Evangeline theme blaring from the truck's speakers. Erwin decided to park like a cock and takes up not only two parking spots but rams into the Redbox breaking it open, while several homeless people come and steal the dvds. Erwin looks on proudly, his eyes catching one particular homeless man. 

"Oi shit my ex!" Erwin squeals, as the homeless man is revealed to be dead Aradia. 

 

"I thought I killed you in back of my truck last time I showed you my katana collection. I EVEN STRANGLED WITH RAMEN" Erwin cries out, whilst Shrek and Levi look on with confusion while humping each other. Aradia very speedily comes up to Erwin, places a hand on meaty shoulder, and then screams

 

"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams." this being said, causes Erwin to have a seizure with constipation. "I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH." Shrek and Levi turn away from the poor man, and walk into Mcdonald's both carrying a half of Eridan. Levi has the leg's across his shoulder's basically giving it a piggy back ride, while shrek drags the top half behind, hitting many objects with it's head by accident kind of. 

 

"Oops sorry laddie" Shrek apologizes. Eridan groans. Shrek screams and drops the arm and goes to his seat. Levi huffs, 

 

"Darling you can't just drop our child and leave it. Show some responsibility" 

 

"Well laddie, i guess you could say he was…dropped on his head. ahaha ogre jokes!" 

 

"I don't get it" Levi replies, cumming himself.

 

"Hey I'm Jesus!" Says the guy at the cash register, with enough acne to feed a small family. Levi almost has the urge to poke his just manicured nail into one particular zit that looks like a titan. He controls the urge, because he really needs to shit. Levi lets the bottom half of Eridan fall from his shoulders and hit the floor, and he leaves to go take his shit. Shrek comes charging from his seat, jumps over the counter, and holds Jesus in his big meaty ogre arms. "Jesus i have one question for you." The Mcdonald's employee named Jesus shutters, is this when he truly loses his virginity? He's had it for 50 years, even though he's only 13. Shrek then drags the poor Jesus by his feet onto the top of the counter, and lets him sit there, standing tall and screeching "WHAAAAAAAAAT AAAAAAAAAAAAARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE" and Jesus turns to dust. A new employee comes up and asks for their order. "Hello I'm Vriksa!" 

 

"Ew" says Levi returning from making himself a vegan meal in the bathroom, that he didn't even need to pay for. 

 

"I want a fish burger." 

 

"How much money ya got?"

 

"Oh you know, none." Shrek replies. 

 

Vriska looks the discount hulk up and down, replying "I've been there before." And then walks away, another employee comes from whatever collection of employees they have, and it's Erwin. 

 

"Hello I'm Erwin!"

 

"What the gifuck." Says Levi rubbing his ass against the display of happymeal toys. 

 

"Hi, welcome to chili's" Says Erwin. "Even though this is Mcdonald's." Levi would reply to this, but he was too distracted by the "INSIDE OUT" toys, moaning like gorilla. 

 

"Now I want Chili's" Shrek says, leaving. He liked the idea of his asshole blowing up. Levi followed like an injured puppy, dragging Eridan's body by the hair, forgetting the bottom half. "That's ok guys! I'll just catch up with you later, yknow. When I have the money to pay, for your services…you can borrow my truck i guess…since, you already left! Bye." Erwin eyes the bottom half of Eridan, and decides, 'Hey, i want a bonus so I'll make the fish burgers early, before the fish gut stock arrives. It's free for my bosses, and more money for me! I can now buy a fully clothed prostitute.'

 

\- - - - -

 

Back at the mansion, Gamzee was still crawling vents, drenched in his own purple pee. Suddenly, Gamzee rams his horns into an ass. A weeaboo man in a pink leotard appeared to also be attached to the ass. 

 

"O-oh motherfuck ss-sorry man!" Gamze fumbles, pulling his horns out, the bleeding shit drenched asscheeks. 

 

"oOOOOOOOOOOOOH NNNNNYEEEEEEESSSSSSS" Moans the pink man. Gamzee is scared. The licking of the pink man's lips can be heard echoing through the vents. Gamzee is now not scared. The pink man starts serenading him, singing a song of ramen noodles. "I don't know what the motherfucking is, but it's sounds like a miracle. Are you an angel?" Gamzee asks. The pink man does not stop singing to answer his question. 

 

"Persistent motherfucker, huh?" Gamzee says, settling down on his stomach in the tight space of the vents. And just like that, the pink is entering his butthole. Gamzee does not know what to do, but just kinda goes with it. 

 

"Honk honk you remind me of Karkat!" Gamzee screams because he can not contain his voice past the pleasure. The pink man is still singing, but is now also banging pans together. Gamzee cums, and it is quite. He does not hear anything, or feel anything. Maybe he's dead. But then, a whispering singing voice comes up to his ear saying,  
  
"The only reason that your lonely, is because your fat and gay~" Gamzee hums along to what can only be explained as a miracle. He spots a figure in the shaded corner, of the now spacious vent. It's Eridan. Eridan is crying, and screaming "MAKE IT STOP" and Gamzee decides he should console a brother.  
  
"I've learned to just let the voices do what they want. And maybe do it with them. Admit your gay brother, join us." 

 

"YADA" screams Eridan.

 

"..."

 

"You're all fucking emo." Says Nepeta. 

 

"Oi shit my ex!" Gamzee yodels. 

 

TO BE CONTINUED…AGAIN.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave us a fucking comment we're very sad. Kudos the chapter, comment the chapter, and subscribe to see chapters similar to this one, see ya.


	4. Uprise: the gang's bizarre adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey, this is not my fault.

"welcome to dolphies" says a strange ugly muscular man boy. It's a jojo. with neckrolls. 

 

"oh shit wrong place, we were going to chilis" shrek explains.

 

"no stay, we have crustaceans. caught and manhandled by speedwagon foundation. my name is jotaro kujo, and this is my stand-" 

 

"there's nothing there…" shrek points out with his wet shclong. he grasps it firmly and uses it to point at the empty space of air. but he feels a presence thrust it from his grasp. he ignores this.

 

"oh shit he has the disease, run laddie" shrek screams, as his penis is pulled 50 meters forward and him with it. 

 

"no." says Levi coldly. He sits his bony ass on the ground. "I have my own stand. It's name is…EREN YAEGER and he just screams" 

 

"fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme" Levi starts chanting, as EREN YAEGER starts screaming point blank, at the hot sexy purple lion of a stand. Jotaro dies. But he's still alive! A horrible gruesome dolphin is shat from his ass, and it looks like him except it's Jolyne! 

 

"You look like a whale." Jotaro says as compliment. And he thinks to himself "bitches love whales." 

 

Shrek suddenly obtains a stand. It's name is dunkey "WE'RE CUMMIN IN" it screams and kills the ugly dolphin shit baby. Jotaro is now officially dead. Or is he?

 

 

Levi rolls on the ground in pain, because he was unknowingly star fingered in his 9th asshole. Levi can't count. A little boy with a horribly put together orange turban headband starts cackling as a little fucking airplane shoots him dead. He was Narnanica. He's dead now.

 

Shrek lost his penis, in the chili's war. He is also dead. 

 

"I am dead laddie" he says bleeding his olive green blood.

 

"Oh boy does that suck" Levi says.

 

"DON'T WORRY I CAN FIX HIM" screams jotaro. He's back, and he can fix this.

 

"no, don't." Levi says. 

 

"HEY LITTLE JO ITS ME OKUYASU" screams dunkey. 

 

"Oh hi." says nobody.

 

TO BE CONTINUED….

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steelball-run has changed as a person and chose to murder everyone. Not my fault.

**Author's Note:**

> Me and a Shrek worshipper decided to write this. He spoke I wrote. Either way I apologize for any trauma or emotional abuse that any readers may receive after reading this. If you'd like to file a complaint please seek out our second hand writer, 'erii2oldiick.tumblr.com'


End file.
